LOCAL GIRL ALREADY REGRETS GETTING STUPID TATTOO

November 8, 2005
Santa Barbara, CA

All Melissa Davis wanted in life was to fit in and be cool like her sorority sisters. She slept with all the right guys and drank at all the right bars, but still she couldn't break into the upper echelon of the "super-trendy girls". So last weekend she took the final step, one that will now haunt her forever and will make her the butt of so many jokes to come; she got a lower back tattoo.

"This has to be the dumbest thing I have ever done," Davis sobbed. "I don't even know what the hell it is or if it means something. I just pointed to the picture on the wall and said 'give me that one'. Halfway through the procedure I started to realize what was going on and how this was a huge mistake, but I just couldn't stop him. I just wanted to be cool."

The lower back tattoo, or "Tramp Stamp" as it has become known because of the low standards the bearer generally possesses, has become incredibly popular with girls dying to be, well, popular. Although its a permanent procedure, the girls seem all too wiling to shell out for it hoping that it will still be cool years to come. The fad has been a boom for local tattoo shops which traditionally catered only to bikers, hippies, and Raiders fans.

"I just put in a swimming pool at my house, that's how well I'm doing," local tattoo artist Dawg Crowley told us. "Guys who used to come in here, make up most of my business, well they aren't exactly swimming in cash. Now these little girls come in here with their dad's visa cards, and they are never declined. I know its just a phase, hell I have seen them all come and go, as a matter of fact I am still sitting on 120 tongue piercing I can't get rid of, but I am riding this fad all way to the bank this time."

Tattoo shops aren't the only businesses booming. For every girl that gets a tramp stamp there's one going to the plastic surgeon to have theirs removed. Its what some economists call "get and regret cycle".

"I just put in a swimming pool for my guest house in Italy, that's how well I'm doing" said Dr. Johan Schwartz, a local plastic surgeon. "These girls have always been my bread and butter, its always something with them. One day they need a nose job, the next they need new boobs, and now they have to have their tramp stamps removed. Do you know how many procedures it takes to get rid one of those? At least 12 at about $1000 a pop. I have a line out the door of them coming in, it's a beautiful time to be in this business."

Melissa is one of those now on the waiting list to have her 2 day old tattoo removed.

"I was with some guy last night and I made him turn the lights all out before we got undressed, that's how embarrassed I am by it. Also, I figure when my dad gets the credit card bill, it will be a lot easier to explain when both the tattoo and the removal charges are on the same month. I think he will be proud of me for this decision. No, not the first one, but the one where I am having it removed. Yeah, that one. Dad will be really proud of that part."

Mr. Davis, a tax attorney in Orange County, could not be reached for comment.