NORTH DAKOTA SOLD TO CANADA

Fargo, North Dakota
October 28, 2005

North Dakota citizens will have to file a change of address form with the local mounted police because as of tommorow, they will be Canadians.

"What the f**k!?" Asked one Fargo citizen. "This is some sort of joke, right? I can't believe they did this to us. Those son of bitches in Washington have gone to far this time. What am I supposed to do now? Canada doesn't pay welfare as far as I know. I guess I will just curl up here and die!"

North Dakotans, long known for their overwhelming sense of being martyrs, will now have to learn a whole new national anthem and learn how to say abooot. It seems the federal government, forced with record deficits along with the increasing cost of the Iraq war, was in a tight spot when they couldn't afford their latest mortgage payment.

"Well, its kind of like the board game Monopoly," said Hank Frotherten of the Bureau of Accounting for the United States government. "Sometimes you are faced with bills that you need to pay and all of your properties are mortaged. The only thing you can do is sell a piece of property you need the least and hope that covers the bills. The trick is finding that sucker who will by your piece of crap land. In this situation, Canada was that sucker."

Canada now is the proud owner of a bunch of scrub land that most of us never new existed let alone planned on visiting. Americans where overwhelmingly underwhelmed by the news.

"There's a North Dakota?" asked 9th grade geography teacher Mrs. Janice Holden. "I'm pretty sure its just Dakota, right? Seriously, there can't be a North and a South, can there?"

"Are you sure North Dakota isn't already part of Canada," asked one White House official. "I am pretty sure it already is, you might want to get your facts straight on this one. "

We did get our facts straight and now America is 49 states strong. There are no new plans to take a star off the flag due to the likelihood of Iraq officially becoming a part of our union in the coming months.