GOD IN REHAB ON NEPTUNE

October 21, 2005
Santa Monica, CA

Have you been wondering about God's silence? We'll that's because the popular icon is GONE according a suntanned spokesman located at various domiciles in Santa Monica, California. Apparently the Creator is vacationing on Neptune to take a breather, in rehab for exhaustion.

"He's simply fucking tired of this petty thing he created that just complains," said the slender man. "Trust me, he was never a good listener to begin with, then he creates this experiment that just fucking jabbers and whines at him all the fucking time. He's fucking sick of it."

After an awkward silence and some self-grooming, the grizzled spokesperson (it became harder to determine gender the longer we spoke) added, "Look he's just ready to move on to other projects. He's getting older and wants to try some new things. He was always one to hang on to a lost cause too long, but I think his hiatus has helped bring some clarity. I'm not saying he'll never tour again; it's just time to let go for a while."

The Independent News was unable to reach God for comment. However, there are rumors of paparazzi photos of Him with Charlize Theron on the sandy beaches of Neptune.