TARDY MAN SAUNTERS INTO WORK

October 14, 2005
Auburn, CA

Kevin Brown, pictured in the photo above in the parking lot of Igloo Insurance Company, reportedly sauntered into work yesterday... LATE! As several Igloo employees witnessed, Brown was not in the seat of his desk harbored in the womb of his cubicle at 8 a.m. like the rest of the staff. Rather, the 29 year-old Auburn native was still to be seen.

According to Pamela Knott, a rather odd woman with a very odd scent, who has a perfect vantage from the front desk at Igloo, Brown did not show up until well after 8:17. "He didn't show up til no 8:17 or further," kersplained Knott.

When the devil-may-care worker did arrive, he was wearing sunglasses and according to some of his fellow employees, strolled to his workstation. However, his supervisor, Bill Higgs, upgraded the severity of Brown's casual walking style to a "saunter."

"He sauntered through here all casual and really looking to burn me up," Higgs shouts loudly. "With those queer sunglasses. We don't need no rock stars with their queer ways pulling down the moral of our workers."

While others state the Brown's walking style had very little panache at all and that he really just seemed kind of hangover, the controversial insurance worker remains on a 2-day unpaid suspension.

We didn't try to reach Brown for comment.