PARENTS BLAME 80's ROCK MUSIC FOR SON'S MULLETChicago, IL
October 12, 2005
Adam Goldberg was an ideal son. He always did his homework on time, he went to bed when he was told to, and he always kept his hair presentable. Then one day Adam heard "Rock 98 The Beat" and the sounds that came out of the speakers changed his life.
"I had never even heard of Journey, let alone REO Speedwagon or Rick Springfield. I heard them and I just couldn't stop myself from rockin'." Goldberg said.
Almost overnight, Goldberg changed, his parents claim.
"He was such a good boy," said his mother Janice Goldberg. "He always looked like a good boy and he always acted like one. Then one day I go to his room and he's up there dancing to Bob Seger. I figured it was just a phase, but it seems that this is who are son is now. "
Goldberg has stopped cutting the back of his hair to grow the hairstyle known as a "mullet" which was the popular cut of his idols.
"Have you see guys like Rick Springield up on stage and all of the girls are screaming at him? Well, they all have mullets. Loverboy? Mullets. Eddie Money? Mullets. Kansas? Mullets. I want to be just like them and this is how its going to start." claims Adam pointing to his locks.
"I really wish he would cut it," his mother continues. "I have tried everything like crying, begging, offering him money, nothing seems to work. "
Janice even tried to get a celebrity spokesperson to help out.
"A friend of mine at the office used to know his mother so I put in a call. Well next thing you know, Billy Ray Cyrus is at my door ready to try and talk my son out of his hairstyle."
Billy Ray Cyrus was once mocked for his embarrassing long Mullet which became known as the "achey breaky mistakey". After he cut it, he found himself with an acting gig and finally able to meet women.
"Look, its tempting to grow a mullet," Cyrus claims. "I know, I had the best, or maybe worst, mullet ever to grace the stage. Oh, it looks soooo appealing. 'Hey, I can just put it in a ponytail and tuck it down my shirt and suddenly I look conservative'. Well, I tell you what, that does not work one bit. I was virgin until I was 32 years old. 32 years old! All because of that damn mullet."
Billy Ray's efforts fell on deaf ears, however, since Adam was too young to even know who he was.
"Yeah, some guy from PAX TV tried to get me to cut it. It was really an awkward situation, so I told him I would think about it. FOR ABOUT 5 SECONDS! I then ran upstairs and rocked out to "Wheel in the Sky". Man I love that song."
Now all the Goldbergs can do is distance themselves from their son until maybe he sees the light. They have gone so far as to tell friends that he has been shipped off to military camp or that he died in a freak boating accident. Anything but say that kid with the mullet is their son.
October 12, 2005
Adam Goldberg was an ideal son. He always did his homework on time, he went to bed when he was told to, and he always kept his hair presentable. Then one day Adam heard "Rock 98 The Beat" and the sounds that came out of the speakers changed his life.
"I had never even heard of Journey, let alone REO Speedwagon or Rick Springfield. I heard them and I just couldn't stop myself from rockin'." Goldberg said.
Almost overnight, Goldberg changed, his parents claim.
"He was such a good boy," said his mother Janice Goldberg. "He always looked like a good boy and he always acted like one. Then one day I go to his room and he's up there dancing to Bob Seger. I figured it was just a phase, but it seems that this is who are son is now. "
Goldberg has stopped cutting the back of his hair to grow the hairstyle known as a "mullet" which was the popular cut of his idols.
"Have you see guys like Rick Springield up on stage and all of the girls are screaming at him? Well, they all have mullets. Loverboy? Mullets. Eddie Money? Mullets. Kansas? Mullets. I want to be just like them and this is how its going to start." claims Adam pointing to his locks.
"I really wish he would cut it," his mother continues. "I have tried everything like crying, begging, offering him money, nothing seems to work. "
Janice even tried to get a celebrity spokesperson to help out.
"A friend of mine at the office used to know his mother so I put in a call. Well next thing you know, Billy Ray Cyrus is at my door ready to try and talk my son out of his hairstyle."
Billy Ray Cyrus was once mocked for his embarrassing long Mullet which became known as the "achey breaky mistakey". After he cut it, he found himself with an acting gig and finally able to meet women.
"Look, its tempting to grow a mullet," Cyrus claims. "I know, I had the best, or maybe worst, mullet ever to grace the stage. Oh, it looks soooo appealing. 'Hey, I can just put it in a ponytail and tuck it down my shirt and suddenly I look conservative'. Well, I tell you what, that does not work one bit. I was virgin until I was 32 years old. 32 years old! All because of that damn mullet."
Billy Ray's efforts fell on deaf ears, however, since Adam was too young to even know who he was.
"Yeah, some guy from PAX TV tried to get me to cut it. It was really an awkward situation, so I told him I would think about it. FOR ABOUT 5 SECONDS! I then ran upstairs and rocked out to "Wheel in the Sky". Man I love that song."
Now all the Goldbergs can do is distance themselves from their son until maybe he sees the light. They have gone so far as to tell friends that he has been shipped off to military camp or that he died in a freak boating accident. Anything but say that kid with the mullet is their son.
posted by The Independent at 1:51 PM
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