PHOTOS PROVE PRES PACT WITH DARK LORD

Washington, D.C.
October 5, 2005

Newly released photos from the White House archives prove once and for all Nixon’s secret alliance with Satan himself.

“We all knew what was going on, we were just to scared to say anything. I mean, it’s the Prince of Darkness himself. Do you realize what he could do to me just for admitting this?” said a long time aide that would speak only on the condition of anonymity.

Sally, not her real name, went on to explain the meetings. “Well, we always knew when, um, well, Mr. Satan was coming over. Dick always got really nervous, really excitable. I heard from someone that he had made a deal with, well, Satan back in the Sixties. I don’t think Dick quite knew what he was getting into.”

The photos were found hidden in the archive two years ago and were suppressed from the media due to their sensitive content. However, after a long and contentious court battle, you are finally able to see the photos yourself because we believe that its more important for America to see the truth.

Sadly, Sally was struck down by a bolt of lightning on her way home from this interview. Oddly, there was not a cloud in the sky.