MOUNTAIN DEW TRIES OUT NEW AD SLOGAN TO REACH MORE NERDS

Atlanta, GA
November 11, 2005

Mountain Dew marketing executives announced today that they are rebranding their kind-of-popular soft drink, Mountain Dew, to focus more on their core audience. The "Mountain Dew: Because Women Won't Talk To You" campaign is set to launch next month.

"We did our research and it turns out that only computer nerds really like Mountain Dew," exclaimed Dew director Sandy Kompler. "We found the majority of Dew is consumed by young men between 11pm and 3am in front of a computer on Friday and Saturday nights. This used to be known as "beer time" in the soft drink world but it turns out that we were all wrong."

Reserach showed that Mountain Dew's high sugar content kept computer geeks up all night so they could continue looking for online porn and playing games until the morning hours without crashing. These benders have been known to last as long as 48 hours with only Dew and Twinkies to sustain the marathon geek-outs.

"We have been stuck in a rut for a while with Dew," says company president Bob Blamanah. "We had a small market share and were never able to get above that threshold. We tried everything from sponsoring concerts to being a key part of the X Games. I guess these people just don't get out much socially and especially when atheltics are involved. I think this new slogan will really hit at the hearts of our core audience and will affect them in a way that they had not felt since Return of the King."

The campaign slogan narrowly edged out "Mountain Dew: It's what Yoda Drinks" and "Mounatin Dew: Because you have never reached 1st base with a woman or in sports". Both still might be used in selective markets. The campaign will primarily focus on online advertising and pizza box marketing.

Shares for Mountain Dew were up 38% on the announcement.